Every day we are faced with decisions and choices but which do we really choose in order to make our lives fulfilled. Today, my friend, Mercedes (not her real name) asked me “What is necessary in order to feel fulfilled”. She admitted that while she was happy with her two children (and be a SAHM) and had a happy marriage but there was something missing. So I asked her three questions. Before delving to deeply, I should tell you that Mercedes and I are strictly one of those friends who are in a group together on Facebook but we have some really deep conversations and she is a Patriots fan, so that makes her completely awesome!
- Do you have any regrets? Many times we may have given up a dream because of challenges or hardships or failed to deliver on a promise to ourselves. Do not beat yourself up over it. Forge on! If you always wanted to be a doctor, then go ahead be a doctor! Want to have kids but you are in the “danger age range”? Explore your options like adopt. That’s my 2014 mantra! If you are unhappy in your marriage, well seek counseling, then if that does not work “D” word!
- What are your lifelong goals? Mercedes could not answer this question fast enough when she told me that she always wanted to paint. I told her to pursue it and do it passionately. There comes a time in every woman’s life where we get tired of being mom, wife, daughter, sister, caretaker and we just want to be ourselves. This is why my kids still go to bed at 8:30pm even during the summer (yes, I am THAT mom).
- My third question was more religious based and I asked her whether she still prayed or even attended church. She looked crestfallen and muttered a quiet “No”. Regardless of religious beliefs, I always believe that there is a higher power who drives our every need and desire. Mercedes realized that the one thing she was really missing was a relationship of a different nature.
I am not an expert by any means but I think Mercedes will find the answer to her question in one of the three questions I posed to her. After all, when you self-actualize what else can you really do? I attend church every couple of weeks and I love it but sometimes I feel there could be more. It really does not matter where I worship, once I can feel that awesome presence. Organ music soothes me and the feeling of experiencing that spiritual awakening is amazing. When I attended mass at St. Paul’s in Canada, I would sit under the stained glass window of John the Baptist. I don’t know why but I felt comforted sitting there.
Mercedes needs to find that comfortable space in her life to be fulfilled. What is your go to method?