The Art of Compromise

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I hate to compromise. Actually, I hate to compromise when it’s not in my favour. So when I am faced with having to compromise I find myself out of my comfort zone. When you are in a relationship, it is one of those things that make being part of a couple all the more interesting. There is an art to compromising in order to be fair to the other person.

Find your ideal balance: when it comes to chores, finances and sex discuss think about what would create balance in your relationship, discuss them with your partner. Refine how you define fair and create a new balance that will work for you two.

Communicate: Don’t be a nag and whine about what is not happening in your relationship. Instead, tell your partner what  you want. Try, “Can you help get the kids out the door?” The old adage of you get more with honey than vinegar still holds true today. By communicating your needs, rather than arguing your point, you will acknowledge both your feelings and you will find your partner more willing to find ways to work on any issues that arise.

Show appreciation:  Every couple has that period where they take each other for granted. Try putting yourself in your partner’s shoes. When your partner feels appreciated, it can bring good rewards to the relationship. Try a massage at the end of the night, or preparing your partner’s favourite dinner. These simple gestures will go a long way to ensuring that your relationship runs smoothly.

Make your own rules: There are no hard and fast rules that say who has to take turns in predominant roles. Today, men are doing dishes and cooking and women are fixing stuff around the house. Couples can make rules that work in their relationship and let it guide their paths.

Recently, I learned that every relationship has its own set of rules when it comes to the art of compromise. Sometimes friends and families may not necessarily get the gist of the inner workings of these compromises but they don’t have to live with it.

I spent three days stressing over the fear of what might be and it almost drove me crazy. I felt out of control and insecure because the situation reminded me of one I was in some 20 years ago. I let that experience cloud my judgment and make me feel insecure and helpless. However, that was not even necessary.

The good part is that I felt able to take my own advice for one and did what everyone says you should not do and I  communicated my fears to my partner. As upset as we were, there were no raised voices, but we each had things to say and things that were not said to find common ground.

No relationship is perfect. I am not perfect. You are not perfect.Your partner is not perfect. All we can only hope is that at the end of the day we do the best we can and make good decisions.

Let me know your thoughts………

Girl Interrupted

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